Sad birthday girl's guide to birthdays
Birthdays always make me cry my eyes out.
Maybe it is because my birthday is just a regular day for my family, and I always lie to myself, saying it’s not important to me. But I know it’s a lie. What I really want is for someone to care enough to get me the cake I loved, decorated, and just make it special.
Last year, when I turned 25 years old, it was the only birthday I was so excited about. I said for years that the year I turned 25 would be the best, and when I was at that age, everything changed. And, oh, I was so right!
But this year? I turn 26 years old, and somehow that is bothering me a bit. I think it’s the big, scary 30 that is creeping up on me. And even when I know it’s not a big scary number, somehow I feel like my brain sometimes betrays me.
1. Cake
My birthday is February 20th, so I am writing this 15 days before, it will be closer when I publish this (Editing me: It will be in nine days). And I know my thoughts and preparations now will make or break that day for me.
I don’t have anyone who makes my birthday special, so guess what? It’s my job. I plan to get a bakery cake, since my arms aren’t in the condition to bake one this month, and maybe this year I will invest in myself by getting a lovely cake from the bakery. I could eat their entire cake selection because they are so good.
My mom is going to be happy too, since I have a certain one I have never tasted, so we need to get some samples, and I invite my mom for this. So, I love going out and having coffee with a piece of cake, or maybe for breakfast or dinner. I would love to do it more. She’s always so happy when we do this.
2. A small present to spoil myself
I always get myself a little present, it’s a tradition I love, most of the time it’s a book. Something small that makes me happy, whatever it is. This year, it might be my birthday cake, haha.
It’s a lovely thing to get you something on your own birthday, just a small thing that you will appreciate. Another good thing is flowers! Last year, I asked my mom if she could bring me some roses, and she used them as a present for me when I wanted to pay her back. It was such a lovely thing to have fresh flowers on your birthday.
3. Make it special for yourself
Something I did last year that made it better was changing my routine for my birthday, and I love it. I have my set routines, don’t get me wrong, but I stopped doing any form of forcing myself to do anything.
My best friend visits me on this day, not sure if she’s doing it now, since I don’t know if she is now, since I don’t live a five-minute walk away from her. But I love to do some self-care at this day. Luckily, my apartment has a bathtub, so I can take a relaxing bath with a facemask and watch something while I am soaking in the warm water.
I will have some snacks, watch a movie, and get cozy! That is my favourite thing to do, to be honest. So, I will do it on my birthday too, maybe read a bit after it.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
4. Make an accomplishment list
I don’t want children, so I am not having this fear of missing out on that, but I still get really worked up on my birthday, the older I get. Seeing everyone’s life can sometimes be a bit difficult when you forget for even a moment: Your timeline is different.
So, what I like to do in case it gets too much is to write down what I achieved in my life and in the last birthday year. Telling myself I did the best I could with my background and that it’s not a race but my life.
And so keep that in mind too, it’s rough somestimes I know, but your timing is just right for you.
On my birthday, I love to remind myself about this! I also love to say what I want and ask myself if, at this time, it would be good to have it. For example:
If I were married now, would it be good? No, because I am focused on something else at the moment. Healing myself.
If I were to buy a house now, would it make sense? No, I don’t even want to stay in this city forever.
Sometimes this can help so much. I just used two examples, but it’s an effective tip to get your mind into the space that your timing is unique and right for you.
5. Get ready for yourself
A habit that is good to have even in your everyday life, to get ready for yourself, even when you are not going anywhere. That might look different for everyone! I love to do a bit of makeup when I feel like it that day, wear something I love, and have a bow in my hair; it’s a signature of mine.
Maybe for you it would be a complete outfit. Jewelry. Curl your hair. Or whatever you like to do.
I started to make my birthdays a bit more fun, stopped waiting for someone else to do it, and have done it for myself. It’s such a better feeling, and even when I can be, I am still not 100% free from crying on my birthday, since this is a long habit. Last year, I cried with happiness since I was so excited and happy, so that is an accomplishment.
Let me be your reminder: Even when you don’t have anyone who does it for you, do it yourself. You deserve special treatment on your birthday, make it pretty for you, bake or get a cake you love, decorate, and do your favourite things!
And it will be okay. You will be okay
xx
Lena
