26 lesson I learned in 26 years
Honouring little me, who always wanted to do one of these.
I always wanted to do a post like this; my inner teenager is screaming for joy because I loved watching videos and reading things like this. People in their twenties are doing this, and my past self was ‘One day, hopefully, I can do something like this.’
Here’s to my younger self, who would be thrilled!
It’s a longer post, so I am going in without much rambling.
1. Boundaries are one of the most important things you need in life
We've all heard this in our lives; it’s not something the internet hasn't heard, but I had to learn it a while ago. When you read my post, you often know a bit about me. If not, let me give you a brief description: I come from a toxic family, and at just eight years old, I was already made fun of by people in my life, including my family, so I learned to change myself to fit whoever I am talking to.
That made me unable to have boundaries because in my brain, it was better to ignore myself than to be made fun of. Don’t do that. Never.
Boundaries are so important for your mental health and happiness in general.
2. It’s better to be alone than have the wrong people around for the sake of having someone around
I did that too, and I see so many people do the same. I love to be alone, always have, but I was raised in a ‘Never be alone, ‘Being alone is horrible,’ ‘You should never want to be alone’ family, so I pushed my love to be alone aside.
Now, I am embracing it with the people I really care about and mean a lot to me. And that is how you should do it, only surround yourself with someone who makes you happy and does not bother your mental health.
3. Your interests and hobbies make you who you are and are important
Fill your life with interests and hobbies that make you happy and give you peace. I think it’s nothing more interesting than when a person has that; it gives you character and depth.
And I love to hear about other people’s interests and hobbies, when their eyes light up with that sparkle you have when you hold something dear and love so much. I am a huge hobby person, I love to try things out and find more and more that I love doing.
4. Creativity is a blessing
I was bullied for this, and my father liked to remind me that I am just crazy and a dreamer for that. But now everyone comes to me when they need an idea for anything:
How to find another way.
How to find art ways.
How to write things.
Presents for someone else.
A new perspective.
Funny, isn’t it?
Creativity is a blessing, being able to get ideas at a random moment, staring at a wall, and coming up with new things on the spot.
So, always embrace it!
5. You don’t have to be good at a hobby to start it if you have fun with it
That kind of ties into number three, but you don’t need to be perfect at it to start a new hobby when you have fun. This was a hard one to learn as a perfectionist, so if you are one, I hear you.
I can’t recall how many times in the past I started something, and just because I wasn’t good at this the first moment I started, I stopped. Now I have a totally new perspective and way more fun.
You improve the more you do something, and consistency is the key. But the most important thing is that you have fun, hobbies shouldn’t stress you out because you make a competition out of it with yourself or someone who has been doing it for years.
6. Taking care of yourself is important
I don’t think I have to say anything to this since it speaks for itself, but please, take care of yourself in any way you can. On hard days, it’s okay to just do the bare minimum, but do the least you can do.
7. You need to step out of your comfort zone to grow
That was my theme last year, and I never accomplished so many new things in a year. It helped me grow so much, and I learned this the hard way. Even if you are uncomfortable, you must step out of it.
Before last year, I always thought that when someone says this, ‘No chance, it’s so easy to say, but it’s not easy’. It actually is so relieving and rewarding. Even in the moment you are uncomfortable, you will be so proud of yourself.
If you have someone you think would benefit from reading this, feel free to share it! 💕
8. Do it scared.
Tied in to the above, do it scared. I know that sounds way easier than it is, but take it from a girl diagnosed with anxiety, it’s scary, but it will be rewarding. Find a way to regulate the scary feelings you have so you can grow because you will grow with the choice that scares you.
I am a meditation coach; no one really knows that, so there is a fun fact. I did that because meditation helped me the most, and I wanted to learn more about this, and now I can even write my own meditations. I learned it in and out, which helped me a lot, so I can use it on myself.
There are so many ways to help yourself through these feelings that you can move with them and not let them hold you back.
9. Fill your home with things that make you happy, not things that would look good in a picture on social media
Your home is your haven, your safe space, and why wouldn’t you design it with things you love?
I think everyone should design their space tied to them. I feel like a lot of places you see on social media look all the same. And when that is your style, love that for you! But I feel like a lot also has to do with trying to fit in (Not for all), and it was a long time ago when I saw a comment under a dark academia fitting living room tour that someone put a comment under it, telling the woman that it’s not looking like all the social media home, and that she shouldn’t post it then.
I was surprised by a comment like this, because this is actually my apartment style. I have a lot of vintage and dark wood in there because I love this. My living room walls are a darker green, fitting with my green vintage couch, which I love so much.
So, seeing a living room before I even had my own, in that style, made me really happy. And that woman was happy too.
And that is what I mean, fill your home with things you enjoy, not what others would like to see.
10. Try everything, even when you fail at it
It’s better to try something you want to try and fail or realize it’s not for you, instead of never trying it and living with the regret. You never know if you are not good at this and love it until you try it out.
11. You art deserve to be seen
Even if it’s not perfect, or you just started, show it to the world. It makes you feel proud, and you will love it. Humans are born to create and embrace it as much as they can.
So, to make a start, down below is a digital seamless file I am working on; it’s the first time I have ever shared my drawings.
One of my first seamless file I did.
12. Sit with your feelings, but don't dwell on them forever
That was a hard one, but so necessary. When you always push everything aside, it will eventually overflow, and trust me, that is not going to be something you want to experience. Sit with it, feel it, but also don’t let it overflow your life forever, since this would be bad as well.
13. Please don't take your health for granted
As a chronically sick girl, I know what I am speaking off and it makes me sad when I sometimes see people taking something like this for granted. It’s a blessing to be healthy and have a functioning body. Please, don’t take it for granted.
There are moments, like the summer, when I can barely move and have a lot of health issues! This post got up later than I wanted since I couldn’t move my right arm because I was in so much pain, and now that is luckily passed (For now), I am so happy and grateful for that.
14. Mental health is important, as it can manifest in physical complications
Speaking from expierence this one is also big. Please, take your mental health seriously and don’t ignore it. I can promise you that eventually you won’t be able to ignore it anymore.
15. Don't put yourself in a box
Be free. Be open. Try things out. Don’t let anyone, or yourself, put you in a box and stay there.
Life is too short for this. If you want to change your style, do it. If you want to do something, do it. Don’t think because it’s something that doesn’t ‘fit’ you normally, that you can never try anything.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
16. Not everything needs a reaction
Your peace, happiness, and health are more important than anything else. Even being right or giving a reaction. I learned that sometimes no reaction is the best one, since some people thrive on getting a rise out of you and do it on purpose.
17. Don't feel bad about not opening the door
Also, I mean this literally: if you don’t want to open the door, don’t. It’s a good practice; I never open my front door when I am not expecting someone.
But I obviously also mean it metaphorically, if you don’t want to do something, even when it could get you some new experience, don’t. If you have a feeling that something is off or you aren’t comfortable, then don’t.
18. No one is coming to save you
A hard pill to swallow, but the only one who can save you is you. No one will! It’s your job to get yourself out of diffcult situation and work for the life you want to have.
Even when you have friends who will help you, it ends up being your job.
19. It takes doing something once
That is one of the biggest things I learned last year when I had my ‘step out of the comfort zone’ year, and started this substack as well. You will feel more comfortable continuing when you take the first step.
And honestly? The thoughts you have before are mostly proven to be wrong immediately when you do. It sounded more horrible while you were overthinking than when you really went through with it.
20. Your happiness and health come above everything else
Something I mentioned earlier deserve it’s own part in here, don’t put everyone else above you that you feel bad. It won’t serve you well when you are left miserable, pour into your cup, as they say, and not only in other people’s.
21. Dress however you want
I am free in my expression since I do this and do not try to fit into any trends or how people want to dress in my area. It’s a form of your expression, if you don’t have one ‘aesthetic’, that is fine.
I go from looking like a Barbie doll, to a dark academia librarian, to a leather jacket-wearing woman looking like I have a motorcycle, to someone out of a high fashion movie like The Devil Wears Prada.
You never know with me (although it’s mostly the librarian and high fashion one), but I love this because you can express yourself. Every day could be different.
22. It’s okay to not be 100% every day, do what you can
I had the view that if you didn’t give 100%, it’s a wasted day, and I am a waste. It comes from the way I grew up, but that couldn’t be more wrong.
Doing something small every day is more beneficial than doing everything once a week. Your energy level is different. Sometimes you are sick. And on some days you feel on top of the moon.
Plan your day accordingly to this, and you will achieve a lot.
23. Life is too short not to have the chocolate
I love chocolate, and as someone who struggled with an eating disorder since I was 14 years old, cutting off anything isn’t good.
But this again is also a metaphor; life is meant to be enjoyed, and you deserve to enjoy the good things it has to offer.
24. Nature is your best friend
Not only does it help with your creativiy but it’s also healing, it’s peaceful.
The best thing you can do when you are overwhelmed is to go out for a walk; it will clear your head. My favourite is to spend time in the forest, I have a small one where I live. It’s beautiful to listen to the birds, enjoy the calmness, and sometimes pet cute dogs that cross my path. And in our small one, you sometimes see harmless snakes.
I love them, one time I saw a baby snake passing the path I was walking on with my mom, and I smiled the entire day. It was so cute!
25. Invest in your mind
The greatest investment you can make is in yourself, and I die on that hill!
No one can ever take this away, and it will help you when you are older as well. I love to invest in my mind since it’s something I love and also need. Improving your mind and investing in your brain health is a nonnegotiable to me.
26. Listen to your body!!!
I will write a post about this in the future, since it’s something really important and it has changed a lot in me. It’s an important thing to always keep in mind, your body knows.
It’s a longer post, and I hope you enjoyed it. I am so happy to write this since it’s something I've always wanted to do.
I’d love to read if you have some things you learned that are different from the things in here!
xx
Lena
