You can’t do everything at once
If you’re anything like me, you had a phase, or in my case, multiple ones, where you suddenly had the urge to change your entire life around. And I mean completely, new habits, new projects, glowing up, and everything in between. I had them so often.
Mostly in the middle of the night, I sat on my couch, thinking about anything I saw, habits other people have (some of which I wanted to develop, and some just because I thought you need them). So, in the notes app, I opened another document, writing down everything.
Sometimes I had twenty new things I wanted to incorporate into my life, instead of splitting them up or slowly incorporating them into my life. I wanted to do them all! And the next day I started with them, using it as a to-do list. But at the end of the day, I was happy I finished this.
The second day rolled around, and I started to fail a few, which immediately made me unhappy. I scolded myself for not incorporating the twenty new things in my day.
That went on for so many years. Just an example of how my usual life looked without these new things before 2024.
I wrote 5k words a day, sometimes pushing to ten thousand words.
I finished novel after novel.
I worked out.
I worked on myself.
Health.
New habits.
Taking courses on my own.
Reading fiction AND non-fiction
Now, imagine adding these twenty new things to my existing schedule.
And while I did all of this, I was dealing with my health and family issues, but I didn’t see it; I was fully convinced I had to do it all. I mean, that’s what you see everyone do, right? All habits, tasks, or whatever are done in one video.
But I didn’t realize: It’s not built in one day. A habit is not done in one day. And especially not when you have a list of others. And goals are not done all at once, either.
We have a saying from where I come from: Rome wasn’t built in one day. I don’t know why people say this or where it comes from, but the message I always interpret in it is the same as I mentioned above.
I was so overwhelmed, which caused me to spiral in a lot of senses, and finally it led to the most horrible time I had in 2024. I wasn’t able to do anything anymore with that mentality.
So, I learned: one habit at a time, one goal at a time, one thing at a time. I have a list on my phone now with things I want to accomplish, but not all at once.
I loved to read more, let’s take that example.
I read pretty fast, but since the horrible depression I had in 2024, I didn’t read a word in the book, and I started to slowly incorporate it. Sometimes I would read for ten minutes. Sometimes thirty, but eventually I started to read till I don’t want to anymore. Twenty minutes till dinner is ready? I wanted to read so I did, and was curious how many pages I would manage in that time.
I heard someone once say, just to stick with their habit, they take a book and stare at the page, you still picked up the book.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
It’s okay to take one thing or two things and work on them before doing the next one. Doing everything at once gives you a 99% guarantee that you will fail because it’s not realistic. Eventually, you will have the dream routine you have, but not with overworking yourself.
Good things take time.
Take one habit, for example, for as long as you think you need till it’s easy for you, and then take the other one. No one can do it all at once, and the more you feel discouraged, the more you will just stop altogether.
We all heard that it usually takes 21 days for something to stick. The last two weeks, my entire life changed, and it was so chaotic and anxious, which is also why I stopped posting. But I notice that for me it takes two weeks, and it is already working.
I have a list of habits and goals, I brainstorm them and see what is a priority and what is not, categorize them in numbers, and go after this number. BUT if I feel that changed and I am drawn to a goal or habit that suddenly becomes more important, I am using this one.
I am a huge ‘listen to your intuition’ kind of person. I ignored it in the past, and it was not funny for me to deal with. Now I am listening to my body, if I need something or I don’t.
What is important and what can wait?
The thing is to find what works best for you, get inspired, but don’t blindly follow something that could not work for you. Maybe stack one or two things and stick with it for a bit, till you feel like you are ready for more.
I love to talk about goals and habits since I learned so much to not overdo it, and a lot has to do with the right mindset and planning (I am a list, organization, and planning girl!)
It’s okay if you need to take it slow; whatever works for you, your health, and mental health, is best.
Some people can’t do it all at once, I hear you, I struggle with a chronic illness that makes my life harder than it already is, and for everyone: It’s okay. You are not behind, you are just having your own pace, and that can be said of everything in life.
I just want you to know it’s okay to not do it all at once; you should be proud of yourself for what you already achieved.
You can’t do everything at once.
xx
Lena
